Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Be ready to receive what you wish for!!   Leave a comment

“WOW”.  Amazing how many times that word has left my lips in the last week!! I am so excited and grateful for all the universe is sending my way these days!  Who would have thought that a deteriorating relationship resulting in my relocation would bring me so much clarity and deliver so many new tools to apply into my journey?

I am learning to rejoice in what may appear to be a snag, and keep an attitude of gratitude no matter what the situation may seem to be.  Rejoice over having a broken down truck on the way to look at a new room-mate situation?  C’mon really?  Who does that?  I do.  Because of a disabled vehicle, so many opportunities have revealed themselves to me.  I found a room, an avenue to work on a wonderful child empowerment project, gained a life coach and accountability partner, and am a part of a dynamic, talented family!  Gratitude at this level of intensity has no nomenclature.. it just is.  So be it!

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Posted September 9, 2011 by Connected Threads in Uncategorized

Another New Chapter   Leave a comment

Wow.  Here I find myself, through choices only I could make, with yet another situation I must figure out how to deal with.  If only I had not been in such a fearful place, in such a frantic push for survival eighteen months ago, I know I would have chosen a different path to today.  However, the ramifications of my decisions are my problem alone.  Alone is not bad.  It’s just alone, and I’m not exactly sure how to behave within its parameters yet.

I am in a very fragile place.  I cried today, for the first time in quite a while.  I am not stressed out, but there are periods of anxiety.  I accomplished many things this weekend, including a two-day yard sale which netted me $0 after vehicle repairs.  At least I paid for the repairs without touching my divorce budget, or my regular monthly income.  I now must buy insurance and transfer the truck into my name tomorrow.  How I am going to get there is another story.  Once upon another lifetime, I would have just taken my truck – balls to the wall – and gone the 5 miles to get it done… suffer the consequences if I got pulled over.  But at this stage of my life, I know suffering.  I don’t want to submit to any more of it than is absolutely unavoidable.

I have to move.  I don’t know when, because that changes in a matter of hours some days, and at least twice a week a new strategy is employed by my ex-boyfriend living 4′ outside my front door in a trailer.  He has been gone this time nearly 7 weeks, but is not really gone.  This is his apartment.  He offered to rent it to me in May 2010, and then we became romantically involved and the living arrangements became shared, as well as the bills and budget.  No lease or rental agreement was ever enacted, and I have paid the utilities for over a year (the only money he used to pay his mom toward said utilities was paid by me for the last year at least). 

Ex boyfriend is a Bipolar Alcoholic.  I know, I know…   He was sober when I met him and on his medication.  We got along so well.  Nary an argument for over 5 months.  Then, he started drinking again… and stopped taking his meds periodically.  Still, for another month or so he held it together.  Then, his self-loathing began to ooze out of him on to me.  He began throwing fits, throwing things and throwing words.  Accusations of having a crush on his best friend, and more recently his brother have come my way.  He blames any and every thing else in the world for his issues, and takes no responsibility for his behavior.  He has become irrational, and infantile.  He is attempting to flip my most painful triggers in order to get some kind of emotional response from me, which I will not give him.  I can no longer allow his choices to affect my life.  I am better than this.. and I have to take care of myself.

So a few days ago, ex comes in to my house (which he constantly does without knocking – availing himself of water/coffee/shower/bathroom whenever he so pleases) and says – “I need for you to start looking for another place to live.  I can’t move on with my life with you living here, and my sponsor :cough cough: says that I should give you 60 days to leave.  I say, ok… I’ll try, but I would like to harvest all my veggies in the garden (I dug and fenced the whole thing myself).  “Well, you will just have to come back for them.  I would like you out as soon as possible” he says.  Well, his brother, sister and him own this property in Trust, and they do not want me to move.  In fact, they refuse to sign an eviction.  I told him, “look, I will move, even though you told me I could stay just last week and pay rent.  But I will not be run out of my home.  I pulled my weight.  I need time to save for a deposit, and fix my truck”.  He went off.  I told him his siblings would not let him kick me out.  He freaked and called the civil division of the local sheriff, telling them he was “the caretaker” of the property and wanting to know how to get me out. (this is just a lie)

He came in with a receipt… a tiny receipt and told me to “sign this”.  I said “what is it?”.  “Your eviction” says he.  I would not sign a 10 day eviction notice on a receipt when there is no lease agreement.  He bluffed it up to 30 days… “sign”.  “nope”…. and he walked out.  Next day, “I love you please dont’ leave”.  NO EXBF – not being held hostage romantically for a place to live.  So tomorrow is my payday.  He paid his mom this month… and will not discuss what my portion will be.  I am assuming he wants me out, so I pay nothing if I hear no more about it.  I will save the money for my own place – elsewhere.  I refuse to live like this.  I have way too much going for me to take this shit.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted August 16, 2011 by Connected Threads in Uncategorized

Winners!!!   2 comments

The first thing I want to do with this post is say thank you!!  Thank all of you who participated, donated prizes, and helped me destash yarn for helping me get to a place financially where I can at least see a Modest Means Attorney, and ask the judge to defer the filing fee (let me pay on a payment plan).  I will never forget the kindness of those of you who generously gave of yourselves.  It will not go unrewarded by the universe!!
 

Without further ado I put everyone’s name on a spreadsheet when they sent in their gift, assigning numbers in order as the donations came in.  Some people gave more and therefore had more odds of winning more than one prize.  Then I took the total number of participants, plugged it into Random.Org and kept letting it give me numbers… throwing out the duplicates… thereby giving me the winners associated with those numbers below:

 

#1 – Krysta

#2 – Kathleenspins

#3  – Krysta

#4 – Fiberjewels

#5 – Linda

#6 – MonkeyButtons

#7 –  Kathleenspins

#8 – Kathleenspin

#9 – Emcbets

#10 – FiberJewels

#11 – Cyn557

#12 – Emcbets

#13 – Emcbets

#14 – Linda

#15 – Cyn557

#16 -Quinn

Ok….. now the prize picking goes like this… #1 winner gets first choice and so on.   Since I previously asked you all to send me your first three wishes…. I have prizes assigned to the first 5 winners.  MonkeyButtons – I’m sending you an email to get your choices… and you need to respond in the next couple of days, or you will lose your ability to get one of your first choices.  I will contact those of you who  need to choose beyond your first three after that.  As I said in the original post — I will have these prizes sent out by the 15th.. as long as I receive all the information I need to do so by then.

Again – thank you all so much, and I hope you enjoy your prizes!!

 

Posted August 1, 2011 by Connected Threads in Uncategorized

Raffle/Contest Update   Leave a comment

July 26th –Last week of the raffle, and I am so humbled by this experience. 

Fund has reached $200!!

I must say I’m getting pretty excited about finding out the winning numbers, packing up and mailing out prizes.  I hope everyone that wins is gets one of their top 3 choices for a prize!!

On the bright side… I’m getting all my belongings sorted through, and am quite close to getting the yard sale underway. Lots of cleaning and organizing has gotten done.

I have contacted a Modest Means Attorney, who thinks we may be able to do this with very few $80 Lawyer Hours, and a small consultation fee of $35. I will still need to come up with the filing fee ($400) but we are getting there, and I am encouraged by all of you who have donated, participated, and been supportive in so many ways! I appreciated every kind word, message, and phone call as well. I really do know some wonderful, supportive people – and some of you are supportive even though you don’t know me and that restores my faith in humanity somewhat,.


Posted July 26, 2011 by Connected Threads in Uncategorized

  Leave a comment

Check out this great contest to win one of two Knitting related books.. and this is a great blog as well!! Check post title “Zombie Alert”

Posted July 7, 2011 by Connected Threads in Uncategorized

Independence Day Fundraiser   4 comments

I am holding a fundraiser/raffle with prizes to fund my divorce.  Previous posts will explain how I made this mess.  A fellow Ravelry.com member hosted such a raffle to help with her foreclosure and was successful, so I thought I would give this a try~~

There are 16 Prize Packages.  Each is worth between $30 and $60 retail.  Most packages have been made from my yarn/book stash.  I also have had donations of prizes from kind individuals and businesses, and will list the donors with the prizes where applicable.

Winners will be chosen by random number generator on August 1st.  Numbers are assigned on my google spreadsheet as entries come in.  Please leave me a way to contact you should you win.  Winners will also be posted on this blog and will have 3 days to respond or their prize will be sent to the next winner on the list.  Entries cost $5, packages will be assigned as follows:  Winner #1 will get first package choice, Winner #2 second – and so on. One $5 increment equals an entry .

One $5 increment equals an entry .

Update – My attempt to do this via Chip-in has resulted in yet another adaptation… I cannot link my PayPal account to a bank account that does not belong to me, and currently am working to pay off negative balances due to “exhole” emptying and abusing joint accounts. As of now, I cannot accept Chip-in donations without a “verified” Paypal account, but I can receive funds for Gifts, goods and services straight to Paypal… Therefore, the way to donate has changed as follows:

To enter, submit your donations to my Paypal account: Indulgence420@yahoo.com. Use the box “Gift” under the “Personal” tab, and in the notes section please annotate your 3 favorite prize packages, should you win.  

Response has been so amazing and people have been so kind, as of this weekend 7/16/2011 through the end of the contest, I would like to offer an additonal way to enter… I’m aware that not everyone has an extra $5 to just donate to my cause, but some of you may know someone who is.  Therefore, if you refer anyone who makes a cash funded entry, and they annotate your name in the “notes” section of their PayPal payment – YOU will also be entered FOR FREE!! This goes for previously entered contestants as well as those who have not been entered, or have been unable to contribute themselves.  I want everyone possible to have a chance at these prizes!! 

I appreciate you all so very much… and I will update this page with totals as entries come in right here.

Update – I am so excited!!  This morning 7/12 – we crested the $100 mark! 

Update for 7/16 – I can’t tell you all how honored I am that you are willing to extend a helping hand!!  The kindness of individuals has touched my heart, and I will never forget that there are still those who are willing to reach out and grab my hand to boost me up the ladder I’m voraciously climbing to get out of this hole.  Today the fund is up to nearly $150!!

Update 7/17 – Over the $150 mark (via destash) come to Ravelry.com if you want to help me destash.. (Ravname:  Indulgence)I’m saying goodbye to the yarns that I have no time to give attention to in the near future, and sacrificing some things to ease my conscience asking you all to give of yourselves.  I have plenty of yarn to keep me knitting forever (well, not forever – but for quite a while), and I can always trade to replace anything I find I really did need, or wait until I can afford it again. 

NOTE:  From today 7/23 to the end of the contest, all orders on my Ravelry.com destash over $5 will be shipped free to US addresses, AND all orders over $10 will be 20% off!!

 This will get done – I will be free from this jerk, and I will continue to move forward in my life.  Yes, it’s a pretty big obstacle to get around on the road of my life, but that’s why I drive a 4×4 right? (when it runs anyway :smiling:

I have a goal of $1k… that’s what it will cost to do this with an attorney – but if I can get the $400 it will take to file – I will make an attempt to “do it yourself”… I am stunned at the kindness and generosity of people.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Thank you all for the overwhelming response, I am truly grateful, and best of luck to all the entrants!!

I would greatly appreciate any sharing of this contest you might do with others… I can use all the help I can get, and they can WIN PRIZES!  Post on your Facebook, share in your Ravelry groups… anything that will help me get out of the bed I made myself.

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And now (Drum roll please…)  the prizes!!!

Spinner's Package #1

Sun Shinin'” Batt donated by Dingbattz on Etsy (3 1/8 oz.), 4 oz. Handpainted Wool Roving from Arizona, and a Tour De Fleece Orifice Hook handmade and donated by FiberJewels on Etsy

Sock Lovers Package

Handmade custom Project Bag donated by Kmessier on Ravelry (in colors of your choice – shipped separately), 2 sk JL Vinca Superwash Sock, 2 sk Knit Picks Imagination Handpainted Sock Yarn in “Seven Dwarves” colorway, 1 sk Wool ‘n Weave by Tracey Shuch Wool/Nylon Blend – 300 yards.

The Perfect Row Counter/Stitch Marker Set

Donated by FiberJewels on Etsy:  The Perfect Row Counter/Stitch Marker Set in Black Onyx/Red Agate for needles up to Size 11, with bonus A-F Stitch Marker set for up to size 6 needles.  This is truly the Perfect Row Counter, and I would love to have one with every project!!

Spinner's Love #2

Beautiful Art Batt from Atomheart on Etsy, and 100+ yards of Wool Pencil Roving

Blue Mutt Handspun

Beautiful Handspun by Blue Mutt’s Designs in “Violets”, 250 yds each skein.

Handspun, Sari Silk, and Yarnplay

1 skein Handspun yarn, Correspun Merino/Bamboo blend, 4oz/50 yd – Super Bulky~4-5WPI donated by Raggamuphinz on Etsy, with 2 balls Purple Sari Silk Recycled blend and Yarnplay Book

Closely Knit Book and 8 Sk Katia Diana

Closely Knit Book, and 8 skeins of Katia Diana

Tahki Cotton Classic - 7 skeins Bright Yellow

7 gorgeous sunny yellow skeins of Tahki (by Stacey Charles) Cotton Classic yarn, donated by AbbyNormal on Ravelry, perfect for a nice summery knit!

Romantic Style, Rowan Kid Classic, and MALABRIGO Lace

Romantic Style Book, 4 skeins Rowan Kid Classic, and a skein of Malbrigo Lace Baby Merino in Cosecha colorway donated by AbbyNormal on Ravelry

Crocheter's Delight

Crochet That Fits Book, 3 skeins of Cascade Quatro (one is caked)

Multi-talented Fiber Artist Package

For those of us that use hooks and sticks, here is a package!  9 skeins of Schenemyer Nomatta Balino, and the book Knitting Loves Crochet

Filatura Di Crosa Multicolor

This is such pretty yarn, I wish I could keep it!  Offered is 6 skeins of Filatura Di Crosa Multicolor for your favorite Mohair-like project!

Rare Noro Hoto Pure Silk, and a little Lily

OK… who doesn’t love NORO??  Here are 8 skeins of Noro Hoto – Pure Silk (6 in Dark Blue, 2 in Pale Blue), and 2 skeins of Noro Lily Cotton in Aqua and a summer green.

10 skeins Katia Danubio

10 SKEINS!!  Surely enough Danubio to make something special!

Vintage Phentex Sweater Kit and Bonus Ironstone

Here is a Vintage Phentex Mohair Sweater Kit with 4 patterns, and to spice it up – or just in case you see more than one pattern you love – 4 skeins of Ironstone Herb Garden to make the next one from!

Sensation~al Package

Last but not least… this package contains 4 skeins of Joanne’s Sensations Licorice, and 4 skeins of Casual Boucle.

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Note:  I do reserve the right to add prize packages until the contest closes.. as some donations of prizes have not been received yet.  So check back… there may be more!

I also would invite anyone with questions to comment here.. I will respond asap.  I would also like to communicate with those participating my utmost gratitude for your assistance.  I’m doing a Yard Sale this month, as well as destashing to collect as much toward this end as possible.  I also have a broken truck, so I need to fund that with any leftover donations.

PLEASE leave me contact information with your donation/entry!!  Email, FB page, Ravelry name… some way to get in touch with you to select your prizes, should one of your “top 3” you sent with your entry should already be assigned.

Just a few “fine print” details: If you choose to participate, you are giving a gift toward my Divorce Fund.  You are not receiving anything in return. After all donations/gifts are received, I will present those that donated prizes with a “thank-you gift”.  Recipients will be chosen by a random drawing on August 1, 2011, they will be notified via the email address shown through their Paypal gift.  Winners will also be posted to this blog.  Winners will have 1 week to respond to request for a mailing address, if there is no response, an alternate winner will be chosen.  Yarn prizes will be mailed by August 15th, with Delivery Confirmation.

A “Fast Eddie”   Leave a comment

Around my birthday that November 2008… (my first alone incidentally) I started a friendship with a fellow singer that I had met at the KJ’s wedding a few months prior.  He was going “through hell” with his five children’s mother, who made numerous attempts to kill herself, one being the night of the wedding – where she sat down in the middle of the highway across from the house where the wedding was held, in front of a truck.  She was taken to the ER that night, and I offered to give her boyfriend (who at the time I had just met) a ride to the hospital.  He declined, and I stayed to help clean up after the reception.

As my birthday approached, the relationship with “Fast Eddie” (his Karaoke handle) was evolving, and he was now a single father of five.  I gave them rides to town, doctor appointments and the like… until one night after Karaoke, Eddie kissed me.  Things progressed, and being the unwilling recipient of both widowhood, and empty nest syndrome all in the same year, I was glad to have something besides the negative stuff to focus on.  I could make a difference in these little lives, and the life of their father, sometimes even impacting their mother with my wisdom.  He asked me to marry him on Christmas Eve, and we held off until March.  It was a whirlwind, and he said all the right things, did all the right things to make me forget what I was doing working on myself, and my problems.

My kids wanted nothing to do with this idea, and couldn’t see what possible good outcome could arise out of this decision.  They tried to talk sense to me, but I took it as jealousy, as thinking I wanted to replace them, and I rebelled.  They eventually gave me an ultimatum that only further drove me away from my entire family… exactly what “Fast Eddie” wanted – me isolated.  Within a few weeks after the wedding, everything deteriorated… all of the facade he had held escaped him.  He was actively using drugs, lying (and accusing me of lying for no reason), cheating, emotionally trying to completely destroy me… spending all of my money on what I later found was a list of things he intended to acquire on my dime, before he either had me locked in a mental facility, or killed me himself.

I spent thousands of dollars on those kids – who didn’t even know they should bathe everyday, or how to dress themselves properly, or clean their own rooms, never had a bedtime story, or bubble bath – they needed to know what it was like to have more than one pair of functioning shoes at a time.  I saw indications that their father was abusing them, as well as the neglect that would have occurred had it not been for me taking 100% responsibility for this family… and their mother, well, lets just say that she is completely devoid of a mother’s instinct, and these are just the most recent 5 kids she’s given up.  There are 2 more, that have never lived with her more than 6 months.  About September of 09, I was pretty certain that I was being used… I was definitely tired of the lying about the drugs, the other girls, etc, and I was trying to hang on to what was left of my savings… when money started disappearing from the bank, and he was telling me I was forgetting things… telling me he thought maybe I had Multiple Personality Disorder – anything to destroy my assuredness in myself.  Started being very verbally abusive and scaring me.  One night, I almost killed myself.  Won’t go into details now, but suffice it to say I am alive… and I understand the dilemma that the kids mom faced.

January 2010, I lost my house to foreclosure, and had to find a rental.  It was the very last dime of the life insurance settlement.  After I finished unpacking (did I mention Eddie was also a hypochondriac?  15 trips to the hospital between 11/08 and 1/10) everything (this was making me a real bitch – by the way – and during all of this I tossed a undercounter microwave 50 feet!!  Those suckers are heavy) he surfaced from his dark bedroom where he laid for a week, and shit hit the fan.  Of course it did, my bank accounts were empty, and he could drain no more out of me (or so I thought).  He started a knock-down drag out fight – all verbal – until he spit on me.  I slapped him as hard as I could – and he accused me of punching him! (huh – if I punched you, you would still be on the ground asshole)  Police came, and made him and the kids leave… oh yes, all in front of the kids – and I tried to prevent this for a year.

I quickly packed their belongings over the next 3 days, and put them all in one room of the house.  I ended up having to deliver most of them myself, just to get them out of my house… over the next few weeks.  I realized that Ed had a key to the Durango (I had traded my brand new Corolla for to haul the family) and I might wakeup one morning to an empty driveway, so I traded it fast for a 4×4 Toyota Pickup with a V6 Chevy engine in it.  It only had 5K on the new engine, so I thought it was a good trade.  It was a good trade, only because today I still have a vehicle and that would not have been the case had I not done it right then… as days later Ed was calling me a bitch for trading HIS Durango for a piece of shit.

I had a date, in February up in Eugene, miles away with a dude I had met on the internet.  It was a nice meal, a nice guy.. and my fricking truck did not start.  It took me 3 days to realize it would take me at least 3 more to have the part, so I got a ride back to my house.  When I opened the door, something was wrong.  It took me a few minutes to realize that my late husband’s entire blown glass collection, and all of my medical crop was gone.  I didn’t report it.  I know what happened.. landlord and neighbor were both aware of my being stuck away, as I had landlord feed the animals for me.  Eddie either sent someone, or came and took it all.

I started packing my own belongings to go to storage, had them (most important and most valuable) staged in the kitchen.  I grabbed a few changes of clothes, and what belongings would fit, and headed back to Eugene to complete the repairs… I was there a day or two and called my late husbands friends to tell them I felt things weren’t safe there and they should go and get the welder’s I had given to my son, of his dads.  I got a frantic call that Ed was there, with his kids and their mom, and they were throwing my shit out in the rain.  I rented a Uhaul…. and showed up with lots of “help” to move.  I don’t know why there was nothing I could legally do other than file for my property rights in divorce. But that’s what the landlord and the cops said.  When I pulled up… Eddie was wearing the sunglasses my husband had died in on his head!!!  My closet was empty, artwork from my imprisoned brother  -framed and matted -GONE, the list goes on, but basically he had been there for 2 or 3 days moving all my shit somewhere, and when I got there most of it was literally vanished – MY CLOSET WAS EVEN EMPTY!!!  He said he thought I took it.  Bullshit….. this was all part of the original plan, I later found out.

I found out through “friends” who “didn’t want to start anything, or get involved” that not only was a “Fast Eddie” a con-job, but – this Fast Eddie – had even shared with a few people he thought were his friends, that he was going to “get what he could” from me.  Even told a girl who ended up becoming a real friend to me, that he liked her, and to “let me see how far I can take this bitch, and I’ll come back for you after I get her money”.  I was a fool, a grieving widowed fool, who just could not face her own fears of being all alone, or having to develop a personality autonomous, and not a wife of someone, that I stuck my head so far up my ass I couldn’t even see, much less breathe, and it almost killed me more than once.

So, now I need a divorce.  By November.

Posted July 2, 2011 by Connected Threads in Uncategorized